Parenting is one of Life’s biggest journeys. I was introduced to Brené Brown by my dear friend Rachel Turner. Brené changes lives; she had been my missing link on my personal development journey. She is beyond incredible and the work that she does needs to be shouted from the roof tops. Every single time I listen to her, whether it’s an audio book or a podcast, I have a huge ah-ha moment. As I reflect on her work, or discuss her work, those ah-ha moments continue. I can re-listen to any of her work and find new gems. Every. Single. Time.
Since I have been finding her work so profound, I intend to share these moments with you. I find that giving myself time to really digest the topic helps immensely; journaling about it will take it to another level.
Paul and I listened to “The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting”, which was a four hour discussion that fostered fantastic conversation between us.
Currently I am listening to “The Power of Vulnerability” on audible. I will pick up where I currently am in the discussion and write articles about what comes up/what I find profound.
Yesterday, the topic was joy and being grateful. I came to a realization about the reason I was struggling so much with postpartum and the death of my relationship with Paul as I knew it (sounds dramatic I know but it’s true; the relationship as it was did die, and in its place a new one is forming). I realized that when it was just Paul and I, I had a really really hard time basking in the greatness, I never ever let myself just be happy. It felt yucky to me, it felt like bragging, we all know we have rolled our eyes at THAT couple on Facebook. Why do we do that though? Why is it so uncomfortable for us to see other people be unapologetically happy. I know that for me, it was because I was having such a hard time with my own happiness and my own joy. Now all I long for are the quiet mundane moments. These are the types of things that we miss when we deal with loss.
The way that I plan on healing this is by allowing myself to mourn the loss, and making sure I stay present and grateful currently. It is really really easy to wish these early baby days away. Sleep deprivation is real, the demand is real, the zero downtime is exhausting, but it is temporary. I do not want to feel mournful when he goes off to elementary school. Paul and I are finding ways to cultivate gratefulness and joy together. A few big ones are going for walks, bath time, dog beach with the whole family and going out for early bird dinners together as a family. I will celebrate the wins, I will celebrate them BIG and will no longer be shy about the struggles.